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My Journey

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#1 DeathwatchDoc


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Posted 15 August 2014 - 05:22 PM

A while ago, I started a journey... It was the journey that caused me to find ITS, it was the journey that caused me to change my diet, it was the journey that caused me to take control, and it was the journey that caused me to lose over 80 pounds. I have been working on and around computers from my youngest days, and I had the body of the standard computer user. Flabby and fat. I let it consume me, told myself it was fine because I was a computer person and didn't need to be fast or strong... But I was wrong.


Back then I would have thought nothing of ordering 2 large pizzas to feed 2 people without leftovers, now I won't even eat pizza to begin with. Back then I was winded going up stairs, now I run several times a week and do strength training on my non-run days. Back then I wore XXL shirts and 44 pants, now I wear mediums or larges depending on the cut and 34 pants. Back then I could barely move myself, let alone fight... sure I had the knowledge and tactics... but my body could execute none of them. Now I am a lean and lethal machine, able to faithfully defend myself, my wife, and anyone else. 


So what started this dramatic change? I decided to chase a dream I gave up in my teens. I decided I wanted to be a cop. Not because the pay is awesome, but because I (as cliche as it may be) genuinely want to defend and serve the public. I want to make the streets of my city safe at any hour. I want to make a difference. But to make a difference, I had to be different. In two months I lost over 35 pounds towards my goal of being healthy, I started running and working out regularly. It wasn't enough and my body wasn't ready, a week before the once a year tryout for the local police and I was injured while training. Instead of giving up I spent the next year of my life pushing harder than I ever thought I could. I went from 266 to 175, I went from barely walking for an hour to running 20-30 minutes. I went from being unable to climb a 6 foot wall to being able to fly over the wall.


I decided to eat along the Paleo diet (which has helped me reach and maintain a healthy diet) because I needed a starting place for a healthy body. It was  sacrifice giving up my favorite foods, but it was worth it to be in control of my diet again. It caused me to be a tougher person, it caused me to sacrifice whatever it took to get where I wanted to be. Years ago, I would never have dreamed that I would give up time gaming to work out... but this is the new me, the real me, the me I always wished I could become.


A year and change later, I am lighter, faster, and stronger. I am running well under the time required by my state for police officer candidates. And it happens again. I was doing one final practice run at the police academy and after never having been injured running, I went down hard (with a bounce). I shredded my skin, sprained my ankle, and shook my confidence in all I have done. I recovered quickly, healing faster than I should be able to, I have clearance to go tomorrow morning and give it a shot. 


When I go tomorrow morning, I am at peace. Whatever happens, happens. I am apprehensive about my chances. I would have loved to spend the last weeks training, but instead I have been resting my ankle. I have done all that I can to ensure I am worthy to join whom I wish to soon refer to as MY brothers in blue. 


This journey was not a journey to be healthy, this was my journey to fulfill my duty. My duty to my family as their protector and provider, my duty to my God to maintain this temple suitably, and my duty to the department I want so badly to join. I truly think I was ready before the most recent injury and now I must see if I am ready anyway. 


I write this from my heart for those of you who may be letting yourself go physically, mentally, and emotionally. Whatever your goal, wherever your life takes you, be prepared so that you can prevail in any situation. It is easier to lose 5 pounds now than 80 pounds down the road. Do not procrastinate your life away as I did for far too long. Remember your duty.


I want to take the time to thank a couple people on this forum... when I first was injured this past time, my morale crumbled. I was all geared to go and do this thing, but now here I am flat on my back. I quickly recovered the correct attitude of recover and dominate, but there was a bit of a hesitation to get back on it. DStevenson and Mangeface both took the time to listen to me and encourage me to get back on it and push through it. They both took the time to listen to where I felt stuck and provide whatever advice or feedback they could on how to break through... more than anything, they kept me moving and they kept my spirits up. Thanks brothers, drinks are on me if you ever get to my area! 


I will post the results of my tryout tomorrow, I know this is only the first step in a long process, but this has been the hurdle that has held me back the longest. 

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#2 redsol1


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Posted 15 August 2014 - 05:25 PM

Good luck brother. i'm sure your dedication will be rewarded. I for one am glad you found ITS. i've learned a lot from you in the short time i've been here and hope to return the favor at some future point.


Stay strong, we are all with you.



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#3 Geist


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Posted 15 August 2014 - 05:40 PM

Godspeed tomorrow. There's no reason to be apprehensive, if it's meant to be you've already made it. To me you've already overcome and succeeded at a huge goal and you can only go higher up from here. You're story is really inspirational and you're part of what makes this community great. I'd be proud to have someone like you on the force where I live.


Now time for me to go do some PT!

Edited by Geist, 15 August 2014 - 05:43 PM.

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#4 Jersey0311


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Posted 15 August 2014 - 08:50 PM

Good luck brother, after you get hired I expect pictures of your gear, to include your duty gun w/ WML, patrol rifle w/ the necessary whizbangs, and your active shooter PC w/ bullets and bandages, of course.

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#5 LongHaul


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Posted 15 August 2014 - 09:32 PM

Awesome post. Good luck and congratulations on all of your hard work and progress!
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#6 Davis


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Posted 15 August 2014 - 10:22 PM

Good luck tomorrow man, I hope that you totally rock that test and earn what sounds to be your well deserved place in that dept. 

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#7 Psybain


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Posted 16 August 2014 - 03:03 AM

Good luck Doc, and May the Schwartz be with You!



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#8 leosavage


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Posted 16 August 2014 - 04:27 AM

This story is the personification of the American Spirit!! Best luck to you my friend.. You got this!
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#9 spenceman


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Posted 16 August 2014 - 07:10 AM

Good luck Doc! Like Geist said, with all you've accomplished, you've already succeeded.

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#10 DStevenson


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Posted 16 August 2014 - 07:49 AM

Nice post buddy, I can't wait to hear the good news from your next trial.

Edited by DStevenson, 16 August 2014 - 07:49 AM.

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#11 DeathwatchDoc


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Posted 16 August 2014 - 10:47 AM

Ankle didn't hold out. It was just too soon on a sprained ankle. I knew that going in but I knew I needed to try. I'm not as depressed as I expected. My ankle is throbbing and it's running into my lower leg pretty severely. I'll update more when I'm more functional.
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#12 AaronK


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Posted 16 August 2014 - 11:31 AM

Sorry to heat that. When's the next time you can try?

#13 SwatDawg335


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Posted 16 August 2014 - 03:15 PM

Sorry to hear about the injury...  How soon before you can get another crack at it?  Man, there's a ton to unpack from your first post.  First and foremost; you should be incredibly proud of yourself (and it sounds as though you are).  So many people try to shake the habits of a sedentary lifestyle and fall back into old habits.  Lets face it, it's a lot less work to stay healthy.  You've an exception to the rule and I commend you for that.  I'm also very proud to hear that you've found a calling in law enforcement, and that you're making strides toward attaining that goal.  Sounds like your heart and your head are both in the right place.  Keep pushing brother, you'll be a credit to whatever agency you eventually wind up with.  I wish you nothing but the best.


#14 Geist


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Posted 16 August 2014 - 03:54 PM

Damn injuries like that are definitely a pain. Keep us posted on how it heals and good job getting back up on that horse and putting in 110% even with an injury.

#15 mangeface


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Posted 16 August 2014 - 04:20 PM

Sorry to hear that dude.

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#16 Beaucoup VC

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Posted 16 August 2014 - 05:01 PM

Nothing shows determination than a voluntary willingness to perform on an injured extremity. Your actions suggested absolute exemplarity. I'm sure the staff in charge of recruiting/hiring will remember you for years. Meaning, you'll probably fly through the application process once your ankle heals properly and you pass the physical fitness portion, my dude. 


Keep your head up. I've been on the down side of that process many times.

#17 DeathwatchDoc


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Posted 16 August 2014 - 05:49 PM

So here's the story as it stands:


When I sprained my ankle, my docs told me I was 6-8 weeks for recovery... I went to run this morning after just over 2 weeks since the injury, just barely having been able to start walking again. I was told to go and run and stop if it hurt AT ALL... they were most insistent on this point. I think I might have scowled or something at the mention of letting pain win. 


This morning I did the first 3 phases of the physical tryout beautifully. Pushups and Situps a breeze, the agility course I finished under the required time, but my ankle had started to throb. When I started my timed run, the ankle really started acting up. I pushed through until about the first half mile when I was asked by an instructor if I was injured... apparently it was really visible that I was not doing well. I tried to push through but started running on almost the side of my foot because the ankle was just not able to the correct posture. Pain died down and soon as I stopped running, so I took off again only to have the pain back and started noticing significant swelling. 


All told, I decided to stop before I injured myself even worse than I already was and I just couldn't get my pace where it needed to be under the circumstances. I therefore withdrew so as not to block or trip anyone else attempting their runs as we all ran as a group on a narrow track.


It is sad that I was unable to bounce back faster and put in a time I could be proud of, but the fact of the matter is that I went when I shouldn't have been ready and indeed I wasn't, but I did it... I went through with it and I tried. I will try again next year (yeah they only pull recruits once a year). 

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#18 DeathwatchDoc


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Posted 16 August 2014 - 06:19 PM

To everyone:


Thanks for all the comments, I really appreciate it! Right now, I am just trying to keep my head up, my chest out, and my body moving. The ankle is throbbing at a 5/10 at the moment, so I apologize if this is rather a lot more disjointed than more normal writing, I am pretty distracted trying to get the swelling down. Still it was extremely important for me to thank you all, sorry I did not say it earlier... I just figured that with this crowd, a no shitter on what happened was more important than anything. 

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#19 DieselD


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Posted 18 August 2014 - 05:47 AM

Sorry I didn't catch this earlier Doc.

But brother you went out and pushed yourself to the exstream to follow your dream!

For that you should be as proud of yourself as we are friend


as to the beginning of this post, WOW you've done more than a good percent of people out there would.

You got off your ass and pushed yourself to follow a dream you had. That takes a lot to do, but you did it!


Keep that head up!!

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#20 DirtyTrigger


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Posted 18 August 2014 - 09:31 AM



I am sorry to hear what happened.  I know the fear and concerns, and it happened.  For what it's worth, I guarantee they watched you struggle and you earned respect.  Just like you did from all of us here.  You are an inspiration. 



And keep this in mind.  That day  was only a day.  There will be others like it.  The changes you made and the discipline you gave yourself will last you your whole life.   THAT sir, is what is important. THAT, is the reason you are successful.  

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